Having a terrible time.

I don't know if this is the fact that I've just been raped by Ryan air or what, but I am getting fed up with London and being abroad.

First off, I hate Ryan air and anyone who works for an airline. They are all cock sucking mother fuckers and I hope they all die. Sorry if anyone reading this works for an airline. Anyone who works in transportation in London are the cruelest, dirtiest, sadistic creatures from hell I have ever met. Let me just say that I should be out in Rome getting drunk and meeting Italian men, but I'm not. I'm in my room cursing my computer for not accepting UK DVD's and wanting to punch someone square in the face.

I am fed up with having the only people who hang out with me be other American and foreign students. I am fed up with spending nights in my room alone wanting someone to come knock on it and invite me out for a beer. I am fed up with this fucking exchange rate and thinking I am getting good deals but really I am just paying what I should. I am fed up with not learning anything I want at school. I don't want to make a documentary about other students learning things I should be learning. I want to do work, I want assignments to make videos and things I want to do. I want to be challenged, not shucked into a room and given some hap hazard assignment because they can't think of anything more productive. I am fed up with all my plans blowing up in my face. I am exhausted with trying to keep a positive attitude all the time.

What can I say? Right now I am NOT having a good time. I want to come home. If someone gave me a ticket to Boston and said I could go back to MassArt and have all the money I've wasted here returned, I think there is a 75% chance I would do it.

Sometimes I think to myself- as egotistical as this is- that I am such a great person, why don't these people want to get to know me? Am I really that bad? My charms just don't seem to work out here as well as they do back home. Not to say I was the most charming bitch one could ever meet, but I am a fun person and I will admit that. My pessimism is getting the best of me, its true, and I am sure I haven't sounded exactly "excited" when people talk to me, but up until today things were okay.

I want to put something positive in this post, I really do. I just can't think of anything at the moment. I did see a good film yesterday staring Oliver Reed called "The Devils". It had some killer scenes of naked nuns gyrating on Jesus, but its to be expected. It also made me hate catholicism...well, what it used to be anyways. All that nonsense that the devil was in everyone and steak burning. I am sure not only catholics are guilty of such things, but you never hear about Jews burning people at the steak.

I'm just saying.